Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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