So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
