I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
