trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
