if i died would you start the facebook group?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
