Do you still have your period?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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