It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
we're so committed to being not committed
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
