i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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