i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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