u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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