Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
