how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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