If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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