you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
