He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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