I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
