I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
