I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
