You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
