All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize