And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
