is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
