don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize