I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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