I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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