I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize