Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize