stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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