I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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