i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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