What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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