her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize