why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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