You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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