if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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