C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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