Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
