You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
