Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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