Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize