My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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