You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
No subtext here. People are naked.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
