You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
