I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
