Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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