Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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