I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
