Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
