Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
where are you?
Hypothermia
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
