i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
His hands were made for my vagina.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Are we still banned from the library?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
