You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
