covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
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