I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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