hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
