South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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