And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize