Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Randomize
