i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
