Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize