sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
