They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
third nipple confirmed
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
