and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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