So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You are the jesus of drinking
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
