and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
