Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My vagina is very pro this idea
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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