I just threw up on my dentist
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
