yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
