You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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