I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
