dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he shaved USA in his pubs
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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