So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
