I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize