The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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