I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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