i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
