do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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